Decisions, decisions. When it came to how big Ryan and I wanted our family to be, we have pretty much decided as we went along. Or I guess, let me start by saying we knew that we wanted to have kids, first and foremost. To our surprise, we became pregnant with our first before we planned, although he was totally welcomed! Having one child was a joy. Then, when it came to having another, we assumed that we'd have two. I come from a family of two and Ryan comes from a family of five. Ensuring that our little Rhett (first born) had a sibling and buddy was a decision we made on auto-pilot.
When Rhett was one and before we could even think about the timing of adding a second, we found out that I was pregnant again! Our second son, Vance, was born and we went from having one child, which we thought was difficult to having two, which was an entirely different ball game.
How does the saying go? One is one, two is twenty. Yep. That is basically how we felt. Adding a second child to the mix felt like total chaos. I had just gotten the hang of managing one child, now I had to manage two and it felt like I was herding cats on the regular. Not only that, but Rhett was a Lone Ranger when Vance was a baby. What I mean by this is that because he was the solo older brother, he needed mommies attention still. Thus, I had the constant push and pull between giving Rhett my undivided attention and giving Vance my undivided attention; they were both babies after all! What I am trying to say is that the transition from one to two was hard. It was hard because I have two babies to raise; one twenty-two months and the other a baby; neither had a sibling to occupy them, so they needed me all of the time and were used to getting all of my attention. Further, I was still in that "new mom phase" where I felt like I had to give 100% of myself to my children. I felt like I had to be there at every moment, entertaining them, watching them, paying attention to them. This went hand in hand with the fact that they were young and didn't have a sibling to play with at the time (because a young toddler simply cannot play with a new baby), but also that I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain my kids 24/7.
Decision to Go from Two to Three
As Rhett and Vance got older... I'd say when Vance hit two years of age, they finally started playing with one another. And let me tell you, there is nothing that makes your heart happier than seeing your two kids play with one another. Sure, they fight like cats and dogs because they are close in age and the same gender, but because of this, they also play like champs together. They are the best of friends! (and the worst of enemies) we like to say. Regardless, parenting two kids finally got easier around this time. That is because the boys had each other and could go off with one another and entertain themselves. This was not only fun for them, but it made my life so much easier! Now, I felt like I didn't have to entertain each one 24/7 because they had each other. I could finally get a little break or let them run off on the playground together and do their thing, while I stood back and relaxed. For me, this is when having two kids became fun.
Around the same time, this is when Ryan and I discussed having a third child. I think that me coming from a family of two prompted me to want to have one more kid in the mix. I loved having just one sister growing up. I loved that we were the same gender, and I also loved how close we were in age. That said, there were moments that I felt like it would be fun to have another sibling to play with. As the youngest child, my sister was often off and doing her own thing. She went off to school first and I was home with mom (which I LOVED, don't get me wrong). She also went off to college and I was alone. Again, I loved my upbringing and I wouldn't change it for the world. I think because my parents had only two kids, they were able to give us the world. They coached our teams, they came to every event, we could go on amazing family trips, they were abundant in giving us nice things. There were so many perks to just having the two of us... but again, maybe because I had this growing up, I wanted to make the decision to try something different.
So, Ryan and I had the talk; the big talk about whether or not we were going to add another little munchkin to the mix. And I say that we had "the talk". I think that we kind of assumed we'd have a third, but it more was a matter of timing about when we were going to start trying. Anyways, when Vance was almost two and Rhett was almost four, we decided that would be a good time to start trying. And it wasn't something that was preconceived. Our decision was made when I finally realized that I was ready... and it took me some time. I didn't want to do the 22 month gap again as we did with the other boys. I needed more time.
Having Our Third
It took a few months - maybe three or four months, and we finally became pregnant with our third child. Being pregnant this third time was a bit different than in time's past. The first time you are pregnant, you have no one to worry about but yourself. You think it is SO hard, but really, it's just your perspective making you *think* that it's hard. Looking back, my first pregnancy should have been a walk in the park, but I *thought* that it wasn't. Fast forward to my second pregnant... and my second pregnancy was a breeze (so is my second child).
This third time, was a bit different than the other two times because you really are carrying on with your life. You have two other children to care for and life pretty much resumes as-is. There were moments that I had to slow down and have TV days during the first trimester, but other than that, we really just carried on per usual.
Two to Three
When we finally had our third child, the newborn phase gave us a run for our money. Life was forced to slow down after we had Beauden. I had been so used to running off on adventures with my boys; so slowing down has been a bit of a change. But, what I like the most about having a third kid is that my older boys have each other. Unlike, going from one to two, I don't feel like I have to entertain them because they can entertain each other. Likewise, I don't feel that massive guilt pang because I don't feel like I am needed by three kids and pulled in so many different directions. Sure, I am being pulled a bit, but it hasn't felt as bad because again, my two older boys have each other. And giving them a little bit of independence has been fun for them! In fact, when I'm not always on their case about getting along, it's felt like they've been forced to figure it out on their own. Sure, they have their moments when one of them comes into the nursery crying because the other one did something mean. But overall, I've totally loved hearing my boys laugh and play as I rock sweet Beauden to sleep. I know that they are taking care of each other, and that has been the best thing of all.
To celebrate sweet Beauden, our third little boy, I have partnered up with Perry Mackin! I've been loving all of their baby accessories and essentials... so much that I am giving away some of my favorites! That includes everything you see in the photo - their organic bib, organic neck support pillow, silicone bottle (that easily transitions into a toddler cup), and silicone teether. Check them out by clicking the button below! They've got some amazing baby goodies.
This content has been sponsored by Perry Mackin.