Ila's Newborn Sleep Tips

Hey mamas,
Hope your settling into either the end (or beginning) of your pregnancy and/or your new life with your sweet baby. Today I wanted to give some advice on sleep tips. Newborn life is filled with many demands and getting your baby to sleep (and sleep well!) is one of them. If you know some tricks of the trade and have some advice from a two-time mama up your sleeve, I believe this can help remove some of the pain and anxiety that a parent (and child) may experience during the first few months of life. In no way am I a sleep expert or sleep trainer, but I have gone through two newborn cycles with my two boys and believe I know a thing or two about getting a baby to sleep. Thus, I wanted to take some time to share my findings.
Like I say every time, please check with your doctor before you implement anything new. I also want to add that sleeping through the night may very much be developmental. Some doctors and specialists consider it a "milestone", which means that every baby is different and will reach sleeping through the night on their own time, as they do with crawling, walking and talking. Therefore, I urge you to be at peace with where your little one is at. 
Last point: my sleep tips and tricks are simply what work for me and my boys. I've talked to a plethora of women who say that other systems worked better for their children. What I encourage you to do is to follow your instinct. I was an amazing mom through the newborn stage to my children because that's just it, I was their mom. No one else knows their needs and demands like I do. Therefore, I encourage you to be cautious when you get advice that doesn't sit right with you. Anyways, here we go!

​The 90 Minute Sleep Routine

Before I get into talking schedules, I want to preface this post by discussing which "sleep solution" book worked best for me. This turned into the basis for helping both of my boys to become great sleepers. I know, there are a lot of well-known baby books and blogs out there that discuss sleep solutions. How do you figure out which one works the best? Trial and error, of course!
​One of the most well-known books that was recommended to be by fellow mamas was "Baby Wise." Essentially, Baby Wise follows an Eat, Wake, Sleep rhythm, in which your baby is prescribed to a specific schedule based on set times throughout the day. While this schedule works for many mothers, it did not work for me. What was difficult about following a specific schedule with set times is that it required my baby to fall asleep at exact times during the day. If Baby Wise said that my baby needed to fall asleep at 10am every morning, I would stress about putting my baby down at 10am. If for some reason Lincoln missed this window of time, it threw off the rest of the entire schedule. Talk about frustrating. Not only that, I also felt like I was forcing him to go down to sleep when otherwise he wouldn't want to. When I started to implement Baby Wise, I would often rock Lincoln for up to an hour to get him to sleep and even sometimes set him in his crib wide awake. I felt that I was not only wasting my time, but that I was also wasting his time. The precious moments that I could be spending with him while he was awake, I was instead spending trying to get him to fall asleep.
After I realized that Baby Wise wasn't for my little guy and I was desperate to find something that would help get us into a good routine, I had remembered a certain mama who had told me about another sleep solution book. I texted her to inquire about it and she reminded me that it was called The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program. She quickly called me and summed it up within minutes. Essentially, she said, you only keep your baby awake for 90 minutes at a time. After 90 minutes of wake time, soothe your baby to sleep and your baby will fall asleep on the dot. Let your baby sleep for as long as needed, i.e. never wake a sleeping baby. Then, when baby wakes up, set the timer for 90 minutes again until you put them down once again. You'll follow this all the way until bed time.
Yep. The 90 Minute Sleep Program is as easy as that! Of course the schedule changes as your baby grows, but I have started this with V since birth after remembering that I wished I had started it sooner with Lincoln (my first). Both boys follow this literally to a tee. What I love about the 90 Minute Sleep Program is that it follows your baby's natural sleep rhythms and REM cycles. You aren't forcing any prescribed schedules, you are simply following their internal clock. You don't have to stress about waking your baby up if you feel they might be sleeping too long. You don't have to worry about missing a specific time that may throw your schedule all out of whack. Instead, you just need to set a timer for 90 minutes upon your baby waking. For me, it was a lot simpler and less stressful to follow.

​Sleep Tip Summary

In addition to following the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program. Here are some other pointers to implement to promote good sleep:

• Nurse on demand
• Keep baby awake for only 90 minutes at a time
• Set a timer when baby wakes up
• Swaddle your baby
• Always play white noise

Let me touch upon a few of these that I haven't already. In order to promote good sleep, I always nursed on demand. If my baby was fussy, I knew that it usually was because #1. he/she was tired or #2 he/she was hungry. By nursing on demand and frequently throughout the day, you remove the unknown that your baby may or may not be hungry. It is no surprise that a full baby will likely sleep better. In addition to nursing on demand, swaddling your baby is very important to promote good sleep. Babies feel comforted and relaxed when they are swaddled. In the newborn stage, it was easy for me to use swaddle blankets (aden/anais and little unicorn blankets) to swaddle both V and Lincoln, but as they got older they were able to houdini themselves out of the swaddle blanket. After a few weeks, I switched over to swaddle sacks, such as the Merlin or Magic Swaddle - or another favorite is the Summer Infant Swaddle (loved this one!). Swaddle sacks ensure that your little one won't undo the blanket and stir themselves awake at night. During the night, I also try to use a swaddle that is easy to get on and off for diaper changes. For naps during the day this doesn't matter as much. Another important thing aside from swaddle blankets is playing white noise. I have always played white noise during my boy's naps and also at night. Not only does it drown out any noises that have the potential to wake a sleeping baby, but it also works as a nice queue to let them know that it is sleep time. My favorite App for white noise is called "Sound Sleeper." There are many things that I love about this App, but the best thing about it is that it tracks the time that it has been running, which communicates how long your baby has napped. If your baby has only been down for 20 minutes and awakens, you'll know, and can soothe them back down to sleep. My two-year old still uses this App to sleep and I always check the time to see how long he napped for. Anyways, there are a number of tips and tricks to implement to help your baby sleep. Swaddling, playing white noise and soothing your baby will not only help them sleep but will also help them to associate these things with sleep time.

​How will I know if Baby is Tired?

Even though I follow the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program, there are plenty of times that I forget to set the timer. Also, with V, there are many times during the day that we are out and about and I have interrupted his sleep routine and totally forget where I'm at in our 90 minute timetable (ah I hate hate hate doing this - and more on this later). As such, when I forget where I am at in the 90 minute cycle, there are many other ways to tell if my baby is tired. Here are a few pointers that baby will likely exhibit if he/she is sleepy and ready for a nap (also pointed out in the book):

• Rubbing eyes either with their hands
• Rubbing eyes against your body if you are holding them
• Pulling on their ears
• Yawning (duh)
• Crying
• Whining (especially when not being held)
• Hyper behavior
• Suddenly becoming impatient/frustrated
• Appearing spacey, unresponsive or withdrawn
• Suddenly losing interest in the activity at hand
• Hitting their head against your body roughly - almost like aggressive rooting (which can be confused for hunger)!!

​Ways to Soothe Baby to Sleep

During the newborn stage, your baby likely will be able to fall asleep on his or her own; at this time, sleeping comes naturally. However, as baby's brain develops, he/she will have a harder time falling asleep on his or her own. I'd say around 4 weeks of age, you'll need to begin soothing your baby to sleep. I break a big-time rule here and I generally nurse my babies to sleep. It literally worked wonders for me with Lincoln and I have followed the same pattern with V. Doctors and sleep experts likely shun this for many reasons. They worry your baby will become dependent on food to fall asleep (not sure why this is a bad thing). They also worry that nursing your baby to sleep will create unhealthy sleep queues. For instance, if you nurse your baby in the middle of the night when he/she wouldn't be hungry otherwise, you may create a sleep queue in which they wake up every night at the same time to nurse. Despite all of the naysayers who look down upon nursing your baby to sleep, it has worked wonders for me. It allows both me and my baby to relax together. I don't have to stand up for twenty minutes trying to rock my baby to sleep - this can be cumbersome and will annoy a new mama very quickly (or at least it did for me) -- not to mention it hurt my back having to stand up and rock my little one.
In conclusion, yes, I do nurse my babies to help get them to sleep. I nurse them before naps and I nurse them before bedtime. This has been the quickest way to get both of my boys to sleep fast. I will say that if for some reason nursing isn't working, I will stand up and rock my little one to sleep. I always make sure, of course, that this is on the 90 minute mark so that I know my little guy will fall asleep in no time.
There are many other ways to soothe your baby to sleep if nursing isn't your thing OR if baby is bored of nursing and prefers to be soothed another way... 

• ​Rocking baby back and forth
• Swinging baby in your arms
• Walking with baby in your arms or in a sling
• Saying gently back and forth
• Swaddling baby
• Singing or making hushing sound

Make sure to pick a method that is easy for you! For me, it was the easiest to nurse my boys to sleep. Yes, I get it, people think it's a bad idea for whatever reason, but for me, it was a Godsend. I If you add up all of the naps in the day - usually about three to five in the beginning - you'll want to pick a method that is easy on you. Standing up and rocking my baby would have been an annoyance and cumbersome. On the other hand, nursing was very relaxing for both me and baby - and also helped put them to sleep.

​What if My Baby wakes Up From A Nap Soon after falling asleep?

Around 5 weeks or so, your baby will likely wake up from naps intermittently - say, even after he/she was only asleep for a short period of time. You may notice that you soundly get your baby to sleep, then ten minutes later, you hear stirring. You'll often want to drop a "wtf?" lol sorry. If this happens, I always let my boys stir for a little bit before I go in and start soothing them again. If they haven't cried out for me, I give them a moment to self soothe themselves back to sleep. If for some reason they start crying out and do so a couple of times, I then go in a nurse them down again. This generally will put baby back to sleep. In the beginning (before 3 months of age), you may have to do this often. This is because your baby is learning how to put themselves back to sleep and will likely need your help a lot in the beginning. I never had trouble during the nighttime, I will say, it was generally during nap times that I had to go back in and help sooth baby back to sleep.
Be sure to be patient when putting your little one back to sleep. It is VERY important that they get good sleep both during the day and during the night. This is important for neurological development - which encouraged me to take sleeping very seriously. I honestly think that is why Lincoln and Vance are so happy (and smart!!). Thus, make sure that your baby is napping for a good amount of time during the day. A 30 minute nap is fine, but anything less than that is shunned. I always try to go in a help soothe baby back down if he/she has somehow awoken.
Always keep in mind that the more sleep during the day, the better they are at night!  Dr. Moore's theory is that sleep begets sleep! Thus, always try to soothe your baby back down to get more rest. If you know that he/she is up and feeling refreshed to start a 90 minute wake time cycle, then keep him or her up.
Last point and to help ensure baby gets enough naps during the day, be sure to be knowledgable about how much sleep a baby needs during certain periods of life. As baby matures, the required sleep during the day will lessen. Below is a chart that provides general sleep requirements depending on age (don't pay attention to the number of naps baby should be taking - especially at 1 month of age; baby can take as many naps during this time as he/she needs! Although, the other number of naps are probably pretty accurate!)...

What if my baby naps more than 3 hours straight during the day? Will they still sleep at night?

Okay, so I added this section last minute because I believe this needs to be addressed, as well. Let me preface this too - waking your baby up from a 3 hour nap should only be done (if at all) during the initial phases of sleep training. After your baby has established good sleeping patterns and is sleeping consistently through the night, I recommend (generally) not waking your baby (or toddler) from a nap, even if the nap is over 3 hours.
A 3 hour nap, in my mind, is kind of the golden rule for naps (well that or an hour and a half nap). This is because naps generally take shape in 90 minute increments, as well. However, sometimes your baby will take longer than a 3 hour nap. Based on Dr. Moore's book, if your baby naps past this limit, she would likely tell you to let your baby sleep in most all circumstances. Again, she believes (and knows through her doctoral background) that the more they sleep during the day, the more they sleep at night. That said, I happen to believe this is generally the case, but also think there are exceptions.
As a general rule, once your baby reaches about 5 to 6 weeks of age, or whenever you start "sleep training"  - you could consider waking your baby up after he/she naps for 3 hours straight in order to promote a solid nighttime sleep. Who knows for sure, but napping for more than 3 hours during the day may habituate your little one to sleep shorter stretches at night. I say this with caution though. I am a firm believer that babies need all of the sleep they can get and if their body is naturally telling you that they need more sleep and thus if they are napping longer than 3 hours, there is a part of me that thinks you should allow them to; don't mess with their natural sleep rhythms. However, there is also a part of me that believes that if baby slept great the night before and you are working with them on sleep training, that maybe waking them up at the 3 hour mark could be okay and even advised if you want longer and solid nighttime sleep. Ah. Again, I say this with caution.
Honestly, I think there really isn't a right answer here. There are two camps on the matter: a) those who think you should let your baby sleep and nap as long as they want during the day; and b) those who feel they need to wake baby up after a three hour nap in order to promote longer stretches of sleep at night. I personally think you need to follow your mama intuition on this one.
With V, I practice different policies depending on the circumstances. For instance, the other day he went to the doctor and got shots -thereafter he was exhausted and slept well past the three hour napping point (TWICE). I let him. I felt that his body was tired and needed the sleep, even during the day. He did wake up in the middle of the night, but I prepared myself for that. And I'll add that he woke up, but only to eat and then he went right back to sleep until his usual time - 6am. There have also been times in which I've woken V up from naps when I feel that he has gotten adequate sleep at night and during the day because I felt that I needed to train him.
While I have all of the to say, I want to point out that I never woke my first son up from his naps after he reached 3 months. Again, I want to reiterate, when you are in the early stages of sleep training your little ones, I think it is okay, but once they get the hang of it - around 3 months plus, just let their bodies do their thing! I never had a night in which I was up with a hyper baby because I let them nap longer or later in the evening. Hope this helps and didn't make things more confusing!!

​Birth to 4 weeks

While the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program works for older babies - generally 3 months plus (you may even start to recognize a pattern sooner) babies that are fresh out of the womb (birth to 4 weeks or so), I recommend letting them sleep whenever and wherever they want to. Babies out of the womb need to sleep pretty much 24/7. With both of my boys, the first couple of weeks I didn't follow any sort of schedule; they slept anywhere and everywhere - all of the time. It wouldn't take much to help soothe them back to sleep either because sleeping came so naturally.
The only thing you have to be weary of in the beginning is making sure your little one eats every two or so hours. However, at night, I never woke my baby up to feed. I let both boys sleep as long as they could in the night hours until they naturally awoke themselves. If your baby is underweight or you need to increase your milk supply, the doctor may suggest that you wake your baby during the night for feedings. Overall, in the first month of baby's life, I recommend letting them sleep as much as possible, feeding them every two hours or more! That said, it may be wise to start paying attention to your little one's preferred schedule in order to have clues for the next phase of sleep development.

​4 Weeks to 10 Weeks

Generally, around 4 to 5 weeks is when your baby will start revealing a little bit of their preferred schedule, although nap times and lengths may vary. Be sure you continue to follow the 90 minutes of wake time, put your baby down at these markers and continue to work with your baby on lengthening his/her naps. Like I said previously, it may be annoying to help soothe your baby four different times before he/she falls into a deep nap time sleep, but it will pay dividends by the time baby reaches 3 months of age. I also want to point out that because your baby is still young, do not force him/her to stay up the full 90 minutes if he/she is tired beforehand. I often notice (especially after V wakes up first thing in the morning) that he is ready for a nap only 45 minutes after he wakes up (instead of 90). Be sure the allow them to sleep rather than keeping them up the full 90 minutes, if need be. 
At 4 to 10 weeks of age, your baby will likely take a few short naps during the day, but this is not always the case. Baby may also take a few short naps and some longer naps, or maybe all short naps, or possibly even three to four longer naps (go you)! You will also have to work with baby to stay asleep during these naps. The more consistent your baby sleeps during the day, the more he/she will sleep at night. This is generally the opposite of what people  believe to be true and Dr. Moore touches upon this in her book. If you are working with your baby to sleep well during the day, your child should be sleeping six to eight hour stretches at night by 6 to 7 weeks of age and he/she should (hopefully) be sleeping through the night around 8 weeks or so. 
Like I said, baby will also start to exhibit a little bit of a schedule - try and take note of what baby's natural sleep rhythms are. V and I got into somewhat of a rhythm during this period, I found that his body naturally went down to sleep at night around 7 pm at 4 weeks to 8 weeks then at 8pm once he hit 8.5 weeks. This would be initially a 6 to 8 hour stretch of sleeping, then once he hit 8.5 weeks it switched to 9 hours of sleeping from 8pm to 5am. Between 4 to 7 weeks, he would wake to feed between 1am or 3am (and maybe once more before he was up for the morning - although he usually only woke up once to feed at night after 6 weeks of age). Again, at 8.5 weeks, he was sleeping 9 hour stretches at night. I did notice that V's natural sleep cadence was pretty in sync with the sun coming up and going down. He grew tired when the sun went down and generally woke up around the time the sun came up. Dr. Moore points out that it is important to let babies naturally find their circadian rhythm and that the dark of night and light of day can help them do this. She discourages parents from trying to blackout the nursery in order to fool baby into sleeping longer in the morning. She says that it is actually very healthy for baby to wake up with the sun! So grab a pot of coffee and try to hang in there, mama.
Back to our schedules - so as soon as V was up - generally between 5:30am and 6:30am, I feed him upon waking. Sometimes he will dose back to sleep; other times he will be awake. During this morning "awake period", he would most always be ready to go back to sleep at the 45 minute mark or so. I attribute this to him being young and I'm sure that it will lengthen to 90 minutes of awake time once he hits 4 months or so. Anyways, this first morning nap would usually be around an hour and a half. He'd be up for another 90 minutes then back down for another hour and a half nap. This would happen two more times until the later afternoon. In the later afternoon he would maybe take a three hour nap and then was up for 90 minutes then would be back down for the night around 7pm and 8pm, depending on where he was at in the 90 minute schedule.
The thing I love about the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program is that you aren't married to a timetable. If your baby wakes up in the morning at an unusual time that you aren't used to, you won't have to worry about it screwing up your timetable schedule because there is no timetable. You simply set your timer for 90 minutes and then when the 90 minutes passes, you put your baby down to sleep.

​3 months to 6 months

By this time your baby's schedule should be getting into a well-known rhythm. If you have been practicing and working on the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program, this schedule should be easier to follow at this point and your baby is likely sleeping nicely through the night. Baby's naps have probably lengthened out to roughly an hour and a half each and he/she is likely taking about three naps during the day.
​The only thing at the 3 month mark that may be different than before is the time you put your baby down to sleep at night. Generally, babies will begin to go to bed earlier - around 7pm at night. In my case, V already had an early bedtime, so I hope that he maintains this preferred bedtime which naturally was already around 8pm.
At this time, baby may also be taking shorter and more frequent naps. I believe V was taking several naps a day only 45 minutes in duration, and was still going down every 90 minutes. So again, baby probably cannot stay awake longer than 1.5 hours to 2 hours max. This can be quite annoying for a new mama or second-time mama with older children, feeling like she is tied to the house. I totally feel you, but only realize that this period of life is temporary and baby's naps will lengthen soon enough.
​

6 Months +

By the time your baby reaches 6 months of age, the 90 minutes of wake time may double into 180 minutes (or 3 hours) of wake time. This may happen during a certain point of the day (maybe morning / maybe evening) in which you perceive that baby isn't as tired as normal or doesn't seem interested in napping. Follow your baby's natural queues in order to determine if they are ready to double a wake time period from 90 minutes to 180 minutes. You will know when he/she is ready if you pay attention to their signals. Baby may not fall asleep in the crib upon soothing or baby will wake up soon after being put down. If this is the case, gradually try and keep them up if they are desiring it. Every day may be a new day as your baby transitions into a longer wake time period. 
At this point in time, baby needs roughly 2 to 3 hours of napping during the day (whether they are shorter more frequent naps or longer and fewer naps - but likely in the form of two to three naps per day), and also needs 11 to 12 hours at night. You may notice that the third nap, whether in the morning or at night is a short burst, generally about 45 minutes or so. 

9 Months +

By the time your baby is 9 months, he or she will likely be taking two naps a day, one morning and one afternoon nap. The duration of these naps will likely be 1.5 hours each, totaling 3 hours of napping per day. Again, baby should be maintaining 11 to 12 hours of sleep at night.

By the time baby reaches one year of age, he or she may be ready to transition to one nap a day. With Lincoln, I didn't transition to one nap a day until he was about 18 months +. I really tried to follow the natural rhythms his body desired (plus I loved that he took 2 naps and was trying to milk it for all it was worth)! During the time we were working on the transition, it took us awhile to figure it out. He would often only take one hour and a half nap around 11am (ah!) when he was switching to one nap. However, soon enough we got him to nap hard at around 12pm for a two and half hour nap.
My advice, try and be patient with your little one; their little bodies are trying to adjust too! I know that mama can be impatient, but all transitional periods of your kids' lives is awesome and will provide you with some sort of "mental break" (i.e. nap or school) if you take each phase with grace.

Importance of Sleep

Your baby's brain needs as much sleep as possible! Even if this routine and/or my advice is useless to you, I encourage you to work hard at developing good sleep habits early on and recognizing your baby's natural preferences for good sleep. In the aforementioned section I mentioned that sometimes I have to wake V up to leave the house because of my two-year old. We often have activities to attend outside of the house so I often found myself waking him up from a nap or not letting him sleep long enough. Ugh, I hate this and am trying (vowing) to be better at this.
I understand that we all have lives outside of wanting our little ones to sleep, I am guilty of this too. However, when I fail to prioritize my newborn's sleep schedule, I am messing up much needed rest that is crucial for neurological development and growth. Dr. Moore points out that while adults can "make up" missed sleep with naps, newborns cannot do this. She touches upon several other reasons that sleep is critical for newborns and children alike.
In conclusion, make sure your newborn is getting great rest. This will pay dividends in the future. I believe a well rested baby will not only learn faster through both healthy neurological development and the ability to better absorb the world around him/her, but will also be a happier kiddo! A well-rested baby fusses less and helps a new mama acclimate to the newness of motherhood in a smoother way. Taking sleep seriously is a necessity for your little one (and also for you), so I encourage you to prioritize it! :)

Sleep Myths Debunked

I've gotten a few of the same questions from our followers, so I thought I'd take some time to answer those here. This also includes sleep "myths" that may or may not be true.

When did your kids start sleeping through the night? Around 8.5 weeks. Both boys slept through the night 8 to 9 hour stretches exactly two months after birth.

Did you have big babies? Does a baby have to reach a certain weight before they can sleep through the night? Both of my boys were big at birth. Lincoln weighed 8lbs 11oz and V weighed 9lbs 3oz. I am not sure if this contributed to them being able to sleep through the night earlier. I've heard the case for both sides. I'm sure it doesn't hurt!

​Do you have to formula feed your baby in order for them to sleep through the night? No. I never formula fed my baby. I always strictly breastfeed. (Disclaimer: I have formula fed both of my boys when I had to be away from them but never to get them to sleep through the night).

When your baby starts sleeping through the night did you have to pump in the middle of the night? Never. The first couple of nights your baby sleeps through the night you will absolutely wake up with fuller breasts. As they continue to sleep through the night, your supply will regulate. Pumping during the night is not necessary if your baby is within a healthy weight range and/or your milk supply is healthy. If you wake up to pump, I believe it will do two things: 1) continue to encourage your body to produce milk at night (which you don't want!) 2) continue to make you tired during the day due to the fact that you're not sleeping! My supply always regulated and my boys were always on the higher end of the weight range.

Purchase the Book!

If you are interested in purchasing The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program, click HERE.


That's it mamas! Happy snoozing :)

xx,
ILA